Bluffton Marriage Counseling Can Help Your Marriage Thrive!
Do you feel like you’re just struggling to get along? Are you avoiding each other?
Are you having the same fight over and over again about money or the kids?
Do you feel like you’re disconnected and growing apart? Where’s the passion?
Does life feel like a burdensome routine instead of being on an adventure together?
Sometimes transitions like a lost job, a new house, a new baby can place, an unexpected bill can really rock the boat in even the strongest of marriages. Everyone needs a boost sometimes.
Marriage counseling or couples therapy can teach you how to change the negative cycles, communicate effectively, argue productively, and restore connection and intimacy.
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor (i) specializing in the absolute Gold Standard of marriage counseling: The Gottman Method. As a couple, the method of counseling might not mean anything to you now…. but when your marriage is thriving again you’ll be so grateful that you were treated by a Gottman Method Therapist!
Are We Headed for Divorce?
About 40-50% of marriages end in divorce. The most vulnerable time for divorce is between years 6 and 8. Did you know, couples who did not get divorced during those years who rated their marriage as extremely unhappy or dissatisfied were asked the same question 5 years later and their response will surprise you—-they rated their marriage as “very happy!” What does that say? Don’t give up! We quit too easily!
Another interesting fact is that most couple wait an average of 6-7 years after problems start to seek help. DON’T wait! There is no reason to be miserable! You can have an awesome marriage!
Gottman Method Couple’s Therapy is based on 40 years of research conducted by Dr. John Gottman. Dr. Gottman predicts how a couple communicates will set the tone for the entire relationship. If they speak respectfully to each other they increase understanding, trust and positive connection. When couples speak to each other in negative ways, frustration, conflict and distance follow. Gottman’s research concluded that criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling were the most corrosive types of negative interaction. He named them: The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse
Marriage Counseling Expert Can Predict Divorce
Although all couples have The Four Horseman clomping around their marriage once in a while, Gottman observed that happy couples (The Masters) identified the negative interactions and avoided them. Struggling couples (The Disasters) continued in the negative cycle. Gottman was able to predict divorce with 90% accuracy just by observing the couples interact with each other.
What Can Marriage Counseling Do for Our Marriage? Why The Gottman Method?
Gottman Method Couples Therapy will help partners:
- Learn how to identify and implement the nine components of healthy relationships.
- Increase respect, affection, connection, and closeness—-you’ll feel like you’re married to your best friend!
- Break through and resolve conflict when you feel stuck fighting over the same thing over and over again—-less fighting! Fewer arguments! A fun way to make up after the fight!
- Generate greater understanding between partners. You will learn to create ways to share and support your hopes and dreams for the future and enjoy them together.
- Keep conflict discussions calm. Every couple argues—even the “Masters.” It’s how you make up or “repair” after you argue that makes the difference.
- You will learn the antidotes to the 4 Horseman (Contempt, Criticism, Stonewalling, and defensiveness).
Who Needs Couple’s Therapy?
Every couple is unique attending marriage counseling for many different reasons. Couples in crisis benefit from Gottman Method Marriage Therapy and Counseling by learning new skills to reconnect with each other in ways that bring you closer together while healing from chronic conflict, disconnection, infidelity and other negative cycles.
Relatively happy couples come to marriage counseling to learn additional skills to rekindle and ignite passion and purpose that will last a lifetime.
The beauty of Gottman Therapy is that it meets you exactly where you are— enhancing your strengths and teaching you skills to replace negative interactions with positive interactions that develop connection, mutual respect and admiration, shared purpose, more affection and deeper intimacy.
Special Recommendation for:
- Couples in Crisis: Infidelity, Cheating
- Sexual Addiction Recovery
- Intimacy Anorexia
- Blended Families
- Newly-Weds
- Engaged Couples
What Should We Expect?
The First Session: (90 Minutes $150.00) During our first session we will meet for 90 minutes to get to know each other. I will listen as you tell me about your relationship from the time you met until now. We can talk about what is working and what could work better in your relationship. You can share with me what you would like to get from therapy and goals you would like to work on for your marriage. Go for it—this is your chance to be heard! This is also a good time for me to explain the Gottman philosophy and answer any questions you might have.
In Between Session 1 & 2: I will ask you to both take a very comprehensive online Gottman assessment in the privacy of your own home. And by privacy—I mean private. You don’t talk to each other about your assessment! ☺ The Gottman Institute will send the results to me and we will go over them in the future.
The Second Session: I will meet with you individually to talk about your back grounds. You know the time period before you met. You can tell me about your family history and that sort of information. I know what you’re thinking–nope! This is not time to complain about your spouse!!! You may schedule your appointments individually, however, it works best if you come during the same week. We can talk about scheduling in Session 1.
The Third Session: Before the 3rd session I will have compiled the findings of your first 2 sessions and your assessment. The results are based on Gottman’s scientific research. There is no amateur TV psycho-babble in this process. Instead, we will discuss the results based on a scientific model. I’ll share some insight from my perspective and review a treatment plan based on your goals and the results of the assessment. This is a fun session filled with promise and hope!
What Will We Work On During Future Sessions?
- Each week you will have exercises to work on at home to reinforce what you learned during the session. You’ll have a good time together!
- You will learn ways to build trust and commitment.
- You will learn what to do to repair a fight or a “regrettable incident.”
- You will learn to manage conflict by turning toward each other and not away.
- You will learn a new perspective and gain insight into your partnership.
- You will learn how to grow together and not apart.
- Eventually, I will share with you a plan to stay motivated. You don’t want to relapse back into old patterns—and you won’t want to with this new admiration for each other!
Your Marriage Is Worth It!
Marriage counseling is an investment. The good news, is that the Gottman Method is based on research and empirical evidence of the skills used by the “Masters” of relationships!
Building an awesome relationship takes effort, but the benefits are so rewarding! Wouldn’t you love to have more affection, more intimacy and a deeper connection in your marriage? Together you can learn to replace destructive behaviors that cause distance and disconnection with behaviors that build intimacy, trust, connection, and a deep meaningful partnership! You can build a legacy for your family, set an example of a loving committed marriage that inspires your children and future generations!
How Do I Choose A Therapist?
All marriages go through cycles. I have been married for over 30 years. I know exactly what you’re going through—Been there, done that! I love the idea of marriage and I love family. I am dedicated to helping couples experience healthy relationships as the foundation for the family. The happier and stronger you are as a couple, the happier and stronger your family will be. It starts with the married couple and flows right through the family from generation to generation. I offer you the expertise of being a Level 3 Gottman trained therapist and a certified Leader of The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work clinic. These credentials might not mean anything to you as a lay person, but in the field of counseling—The Gottman Method is the Gold Standard. I would love to share my experience with you!
Let’s Get Started!
Why waste another day living in a ho hum marriage when you can be experiencing your dream?
Your marriage should be and can be exciting, satisfying and inspirational! Start today by giving me a call and setting up your first appointment. I offer you a free no risk 15-minute consultation to get you started! You’ll be so glad you did!
One More Thought
If you aren’t ready for private therapy, please join our mailing list and consider attending The 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work couples workshop. If you have any questions, please call me at the office 843-384-4994. I would love to hear from you and help you determine the best course of action for your marriage.